97% of People Never Get The Life They Want (Don't Waste Your Life)

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I’ve always been fascinated that 97% of people never get what they want out of life.

Why do most people settle?

I’ve always despised the corporate structure because it lacks creativity – the thing I’ve learned over the years is that your creativity is limited to the company or project scope.

I’ve always loved the idea of making money in a creative way – a way that you create for yourself.

Creatively earning your own money gives you unlimited upside to your future – the future is truly limitless.

That’s the beauty of creating ways to earn money.

You see – it was never enough for me to just “earn” money.

I want to earn money HOW I want to earn it – this is why I’ve never been interested in random “money-making” ideas like real estate, flipping houses, Airbnb hosting, day trading, dropshipping, stocks, etc.

Yea – a big no thanks.

Don’t get me wrong – these things can be a great store of value once you have money to put into these things, but as a means of income – I’ve always had 0 interest in earning my primary source of income this way.

If I do earn money with these things – it will be a store of value that can potentially give an ROI over the long term.

But that’s about it.

Here’s the thing – people settle for the idea of working to live, but I want to LIVE to WORK.

Meaning – I want my work to be integral to my life.

Not just some random activity I force myself to get through for 8 hours per day, 5 days per week.

For me – it’s never been ALL about the money.

I want more out of this.

I want more out of life (and if you’re reading this, I’m sure you do too).

I’ve worked in the corporate grind as a software engineer for over 6 years.

And one of the most important things I’ve learned is that – it’s not what I want to do with my life and how I want to earn money.

We spend a large portion of our lives earning money – which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

But what I’ve noticed about most humans is that 97% of us cannot think past tomorrow or next week – let alone next year.

They can’t see the bottom coming up at them ( and the bottom is the massive crisis when they suddenly realize their life is everything they didn’t want it to be).

And that “bottom” – it’s not pretty.

It’s a tragic place to end up – I know because I almost ended up there. (several times)

The bottom is the sudden awakening to a harsh reality – that everything you wanted has passed you by, and you never got what you truly want out of life.

The cause of this is the lack of clarity.

The lack of clarity is why most men WILL hit a midlife crisis at some point.

They finally dig their heads out of the sand and realize – “Wait…this isn’t how I thought my life would end up.”

“Where did it all go wrong?”

They become so miserable that they are willing to risk it all to live a life more aligned with what they genuinely want and value (even breaking up their families and destroying their homes).

But tragically – sometimes it may be too late.

Yea – Ouch.

I’ve met many people throughout my 30 years of living, and I’ve discovered most people never get what they want out of life because of a lack of clarity.

And it’s the one thing you should be afraid of – Never clarifying your core values.

The Importance of Understanding Your Core Values

Failing to clarify core values is the #1 reason most people never get what they want out of life.

It’s the reason people waste decades of their lives living someone else’s reality.

They simply failed to do the work required – and that work is to sit in solitude and reflect on what they truly value.

(we’ll get to how you can figure out your core values in a bit)

Seriously, getting clear about what you value in life is the most essential piece of your personal development. 

Without it, everything else will be like taking one step forward but two steps back – because you’ll always lack proper direction.

You’ll be blown through life like a leaf in the wind.

Because here’s the thing – your decisions, actions, habits, and behaviors reflect what you truly value at this current time – even if you are unaware.

Our subconscious mind will always take us toward the core values we hold – and sometimes, what we subconsciously value may not be good for us.

This is why people often “want” to do a particular action or behavior (or achieve something) but can’t bring themselves to do the work required – it’s because they subconsciously don’t value what they think they do.

Simply put – they don’t know themselves.

Making consistent and meaningful changes in your life requires aligning your actions, behaviors, and core values.

If not – you are destined to fail. Guaranteed.

You won’t be able to stay consistent enough to make any meaningful change – because you don’t actually value what you think you do (or should) value.

The Misaligned Existence

Most of our values get passed down from our parents, peers, counselors, teachers, the media, and society.

The tragic mistake is that 97% of people never take the time to analyze the things they are chasing.

The most common scenario is that people sleepwalk through life and don’t wake up to the truth until it’s too late.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s never too late, but you can save yourself years of wasted time, suffering, and pain by embracing the process of deep thought and introspection.

Our unexamined values are picked up randomly, usually in our teens and early 20s.

But here’s the thing – what you chase directly reflects what you value (even if you don’t consciously know your values).

When I went through this process a few years ago, I was shocked that all of the things I thought I cared about and valued in life – I did not.

It’s a harsh awakening that sometimes requires reconfiguring your entire life.

When people sense a misalignment (like a pebble in your shoe feeling), they often resort to copes and escapes – hoping to escape the pain of their misaligned mediocre existence.

And it hurts more because, deep down, they know this isn’t the life they want.

After you go through this process, you may lose motivation for things you used to pursue – this is a good thing.

It means you are evolving and finding the truth about yourself.

For example – I used to be a professional salsa dancer.

Once I went through this process of genuinely examining my values – I discovered the primary motivation for becoming such a great dancer was women.

And once my values shifted to not putting women at the center of my universe, I lost most of my motivation to become the best dancer.

Don’t get me wrong – I still love to dance as a hobby, but it’s no longer a priority as it used to be because my values are more aligned with my true self.

This is just a tiny example, but eventually, you’ll be able to relate.

As your values shift, your life will shift.

Once I figured out my core values – I was able to create a real plan to get what I truly wanted out of life.

The benefit is that you can move towards a worthy ideal when you get clear about your values.

As humans, we get dopamine from this process.

Your compass is now tuned to your frequency and provides a direction to move forward in personal truth and power.

So now that we’ve got all that out the way – let’s talk about the process.

The Framework For Getting What You Actually Want Out of Life

As I mentioned – figuring out your core values is one of the most essential exercises you can do for yourself, your future, and the people around you.

I suggest you take this process very seriously – go through this process before taking any drastic action in your life.

So here’s the framework:

1) Figure out your core values

When figuring out your core values – as humans, we have what I call “Default Core Values.”

Default Core Values are things that help most humans thrive. These core values may vary in degrees regarding the quantity we each need individually, but we all need them.

Some examples are Relationships, Money, Career, Family, etc.

You can find a good list of example core values here – There’s no need to reinvent the wheel.

I’d suggest taking an entire weekend without distractions, thinking about your life from a bird’s eye view.

Think about what truly matters to you and what would give you fulfillment to do or achieve.

I recommend selecting your top 5 values. These are now your core values.

If you write down any other core values, these are “Supplemental Values” – not necessarily your core values.

2) Commit to prioritizing your 5 core values

Figuring out what you truly value in life is essential – but what’s more critical is committing to prioritizing your values and living in alignment with them.

This means you must commit to living in your truth and not be wavered by the opinion of society or other people.

This is your life. This is your truth.

You may disappoint some people.

Some people may complain or comment that “you’ve changed.”

Some friends and family may even try to sabotage you as you walk your new path.

Understand that It’s not malicious – but this is what unconscious people do when people around them change.

But this is what it takes to live the life you want.

Commitment and sacrifice.

Commit yourself – You deserve it.

3) Integration

Now that you are crystal clear on your actual personal values and you’ve made a commitment – its now time to integrate these changes into your life.

This process is to integrate your values into your life. If your life does not currently align with one or more of your values — this is a sign you are perhaps settling and not going for what you truly want.

A good exercise I did to figure out how to integrate my core values into my life was to write about my ideal life aligned with all 5 of my core values.

Do this exercise to clarify your new path.

4) Take Inventory

Take inventory of your current life.

Ask yourself the following questions and write down your answers:

Is your life currently aligned with your core values?

How is your life misaligned with your core values?

What changes will you need to make to walk your new life?

Knowing the answers to these things will become the foundation of your future goals.

5) Solution Architecture

Now that you’ve clarified your path, it is time to start architecting your new path forward.

Ask yourself the following questions and write down your answers in your journal:

What are possible solutions that will move you closer to living in alignment with your 5 core values?

What would it take to align yourself with your core values?

For example – what does “freedom” mean to you if you value freedom above all? How can you attach that?

Follow this same logic for every core value you hold.

How can you foster better relationships if relationships are one of your core values?

What would it take to be fulfilled in your relationship life?

Perhaps a girlfriend or calling family.

Or maybe one of your core values is fitness and health (a default core value I mentioned earlier).

Financial health could be another core value. (Use the list I suggested to get ideas on possible core values)

The solutions and answers to these questions will all be unique to you – so don’t compare yourself to others or worry about what others are doing or deciding for their lives.

Forget what your parents want for you.

Forget all the opinions.

Forget it ALL.

This is about YOU.

This is YOUR life.

This is why it’s essential to turn off the noise and distractions to limit the influence on your choices.

It’s why I suggest getting away for a weekend – perhaps take a solo trip to get clarity (I love solo trips)

Here’s the critical piece:

The answers to these questions now become the roadmap for your goals.

Some of these goals may seem scary initially and require significant change – but that’s good.

Don’t judge or talk yourself out of what you want. That will only lead to future frustration and regret later on.

6). Future Development

What daily habits can you incorporate into your life that will move you closer to your new goals(in alignment with your core values)?

Write each individually.

Each goal should have its own set of daily action items/habits.

These daily habits are now the game plan you will follow for the foreseeable future.

Use the level-up app to track your goals and progress. Measuring your progress is a must.

The level-up app allows you to program your goals into the app and track your daily progress.

Do yourself a favor and use the tools available to you. 

7). Optimize Your Lifestyle 

Optimize your life to align with your new plan.

You may need to adjust your plan here and there but that’s all a part of the process.

But this is your new life.

Are you ready?

Until next time,

Jack

P.S. I just opened up a few new spots in my Actualization program. If you’re serious about taking your life to the next level – Check it out here.